Life-threatening activities I should not do in Singapore ...

Mr Brown's latest podcast had me laughing so much (as usual ) and thinking hard as well. I liked the number of times the word 'vigilant' was emphasized. It's true, Singapore is a very dangerous place to live in. We have potential terrorists all around us, waiting for that little moment that we are not vigilant to bring Singapore literally to the ground, like the Twin Towers aka 9/11.

Actually, it is not enough to be vigilant about terrorism risks. We, as world class citizens, should also be aware of the many life-threatening activities that we must not engage in.

1 Providing feedback to the government without workable solutions. Talking bad about Singapore and the government will guarantee a re-ordering of your present life. For journalists who have to put food on the dinner table for the family, this is suicidal.

2 Taking the world class MRT system during peak hours is life-threatening especially if you suffer from claustophobia. But, it is also the best place to experience the sights, sounds and smells of Singapore.

3 Staring at others is very life-threatening as evidenced by a recent spate of assault cases in Singapore. This applies even when one may be eating in a local hawker food center and not in one of those cul-de-sacs in Geylang.

4 Experimenting with cardboards and placards may sound like a creative pursuit but try cutting out elephant shapes out of them or scribbling words on them and displaying them publicly is danger personified.

5 Working as a domestic maid in Singapore is life-threatening unless you are one of the superleague characters. You must have Superman strength to work 24/7, climb windows like Spiderman and also tell others you are as happy as the Joker.

6 Catching the flu along with a few hundred others during a flu epidemic. If the flu doesn't kill, the wait for the hospital bed might.

7 Advocating democracy and freedom of speech is a surefire way to court death in Singapore.

8 Getting old and unemployed is the most common life-threatening thing that normal Singaporeans have a high chance of doing. Participants usually engage in a related activity of asking for free lunches. Both activities are deemed not as productive as to 'conveniently die off'.

9 Becoming a Member of Parliament has become life-threatening only recently. The degree of life-threatening risk is dependent on how long an MP takes to solve trivial problems for others.

10 Making short films about the 'softer side' of individuals can take a year out of your life. While it is ok to film our Ministers crying like pigs over Sars, badminton losses and other historical incidents, other Singaporeans may not need to show theirs.

Singapore, vigilance